Muscle Up, Baby

Dui Yao pair Huang Qi and Dang Shen muscle up!

Once again, formula-goddess Huang Qi has chosen to collaborate on another musically tonifying and uplifting formula with sassy Dang Shen. They are in the studio now decocting their latest creation—which sources reveal is going by the working title of "Bu Zhong Yi Qi Tang."

When asked why not pair up with Ren Shen, producer and King Herb, Huang Qi stated matter of factly, "It was a negotiation thing...Ren Shen just wanted too much money. Don't get me wrong...I love Ren Shen! Who doesn't? No one revitalizes source qi like Ren Shen, but with the economy in it's current state, I felt it was the prudent choice to go with up-and-commer, Dang Shen."

Dang Shen stated she was eager to pair with Huang Qi, and bring her Spleen and Stomach Qi tonifying abilities as well as Yin nourshing talents to the project. "Huang Qi is just SO amazing at building Wei Qi and defending from exterior attack. A tonic herb would have to be out of her mind not to want to collaborate with Huang Qi. Besides, she promotes urination, raises up sunken Yang, and stops sweating. It's truly an honor to Dui Yao with her."

Huang Qi was meticulous as always in her selection of supportive herbs. In addition to some of her usual band members—Zhi Gan Cao, Bai Zhu and Chen Pi—Huang Qi also brought Dang Gui on board to move and tonify blood, as well as, Sheng Ma and Chai Hu to uplift depressingly sunken Qi and Yang.

No prolapsed organs in the house with this formula! "Bu Zhong Yi Qi Tang" promises to melodically firm stool, relieve spontaneous sweating and fatigue, while improving appetite, shortness of breath, and generalized weakness.

"Intermittent fever that is worse upon extertion will not be a part of this formula," states uber-diva Huang Qi. "I am so sick of that Middle Jiao Qi deficiency shit! Totally overplayed. I am an artist. No weak, empty pulses, and chronic diarrhea. Eff that!"

So volatile, that Huang Qi queen bee! No wonder she's contraindicated for people with high blood pressure!

Sheesh!


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Another Bloody Honor for Sheng Di Huang!

Sheng Di Huang

It was bloody honors all night long at the 2009 Golden Blood Awards on Saturday evening as Sheng Di Huang accepted the Lifetime Acheivment Award for Clearing Heat to Cool the Blood.

Sheng Di was gracious in his acceptance speech to an audience filled with high fevers, dry mouths and loads of restlessness. The paparrazi were delirious to capture a shot of the sweet icon of bitter coldness!

A short film tribute to Sheng Di Huangs established history of treating hematemesis, epistaxis, and hematuria brought calming anti-inflammatory relief to attendees. Even those with Xue Level Heat manifesting as dermatological disorders stopped their vile itching as their rashes and urticaria found relief.

Sheng Di Huang holds his award up high with Chai Hu presenting

Old friend and colleague, Chai Hu, presented Sheng Di Huang with the Golden Blood Vessel Award. Chai Hu brought the house down with his wild sense of humor and Liver Qi Soothing action. PMS (recently jilted by Chai Hu!) was super-pissed and stormed out in the middle of Sheng Di's acceptance speech. Too bad D-List bitch! No one cools blood to relieve excessive mentrual bleeding like Sheng Di!

Mu Dan Pi with an outfit straigt off QVC! Bleh... and Rrrraaaourrr! Sheng Di Huang—Tasty!

Mu Dan Pi accompanied her hubby down the red carpet, but OMG, what was she thinking with that outfit! It just says, "Bleh...zzzzz....(*snore!*)....!" C'mon sistah! You know how to eliminate Blood Stasis bettah than that! We expect more from the Queen of Relieving Ascendant Liver Fire. Our headaches, red eyes with pain, flank pain, flushing, and dysmenorrhea NEED YOU TO GET IT TOGETHA, Mu Dan Pi!

Sex-ay Mai Men Dong!

Always slightly cold, but ever SO JUICY and sweet, Mai Men Dong nourishes the January cover of Yin Vogue. Lungs, Stomachs and even Hearts everywhere are sucking up the fluid generating goodness!

Hey! What happened to my dry cough?! And my nighttime feverishness with constipation and irritability!!

Must be the luscious effects of Mai Men Dong and her Yin nourishing delights!

;)




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