Sunday, January 11, 2009

Face Off!

King of Jing (Yin Yang Huo) faces off with MacDaddy of Yang (Bu Gu Zhi)

It's a smack-down battle of the Yang Tonics, as Bu Gu Zhi throws down the warm and spicy gauntlet!

In this month's issue of YQ (Yang's Quarterly), Bu Gu Zhi states that he is "the most popular choice for tonifying Yang and securing Essence, because I am the stronger herb." He goes on justify his outrageous braggodocio, "Sure Yin Yang Huo can expel wind-cold-damp to relieve stubborn Bi Syndrome, but that fool's got nothing on my cock's crow diarrhea healing powers. I can firm that shit up, yo! Fo real! And when it comes to a man's jing control—a brotha's gonna put me in his formula before Yin Yang Huo. I got spermatorrhea and premature ejaculation locked up—fo sho!"

Sources reveal that Yin Yang Huo is not going to take this challenge laying down, incapacitated with joint pain and cramping.

Earlier today, YYH's spokes-person made a statement regarding Bu Gu Zhi's interview: "Let's face it, Bu Gu Zhi is just a bitter little seed. Sure he's warm and spicy and he reliably goes to the Spleen and Kidney to stop urinary incontinence due to Yang Xu. But Yin Yang Huo is the the king-daddy herb of erections! There's a lot of happy families out there who know which Yang tonic is really helping them get their sex-ay fertile baby-makin' on—and that is Yin Yang Huo, mah peeps."

In a show of Kidney tonifying supremacy, Yin Yang Huo took the stage with Rou Cong Rong and Ba Ji Tian to strengthen source qi at the Gate of Vitality in Minneapolis this afternoon. Together the three Yang tonics lead a cold, fatigued crowd in a rousing version of the formula "Zan Yu Dan" (aka Special Pill to Aid Fertility). The formerly listless and infertile audience with shiny pale complexions, started some seriously sex-ay bumpin' and grindin' as their Kidney essence became revitalized.

In a quick move to defend his Yang-ness, Bu Gu Zhi just announced on his personal blog that he intends to remaster his lumbago classic formula, "Qing E Wan," as a hot new club mix in cold-damp-windy London-town later this month. Keepin' it old school, Bu Gu Zhi states he will continue to team up with Du Zhong, Hu Tao Ren and "Garlic" Da Suan for the very warm club remix of "Qing E Wan."

"We'll see how Yin Yang Huo handles that. Just remember, Peeps, when it comes to lumbago—I gotcha backs, Baby! Bu Gu Zhi gotcha backs!"

Get the feeling this Yang fueled chest-beating is going to continue for some time?...




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2 comments:

  1. I'm addicted! Keep this up. It's the next generation of whimsical herb lore.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha ha! Awesome!

    http://everydayhealthTCM.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete

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